Back Story
It all started on that fateful Saturday afternoon. It was February the 26th and my girlfriend and I had left Brooklyn to head towards the Museum of Natural History. My girlfriend was headed to a photo scavenger hunt to be followed by free Shake Shack (for her) and I said I'd go with her (because I had nothing else to do). It was a beautiful day out, the first warm and sunny day in some time. My heart was filled with great expectations. Unfortunately, New Jersey caught wind that it was nice out and decided to fill up all my Manhattan with their foul faces and all my parking spaces with their stupid SUVs. I was pissed off. I had circled the area surrounding the museum to no avail; there was nowhere to park. It was useless. I dropped off my girlfriend near the museum with the intention of continuing the search for a parking spot but seeing yellow plate after yellow plate brought my blood pressure up to a good 160 over 80.
Methods
Fuck it.
I couldn't take it anymore. That's when I decided I'd head to my
workshop to see if I could take care of some business. I had previously ordered a set of
Whiteline steering rack bushings that are stiffer than the stock bushings and that, hopefully, would help me out with the memory steer issues I was having. Ever since I've owned my car, the steering wheel would often be cocked to the left or right ever so slightly when going straight, depending on whether I turned left or right. I didn't like this; it was annoying and I needed to fix it.
I was ready. I had the bushings and tools in hand, the car's front end was lifted off the ground, and I had a piece of cardboard ready so I wouldn't get my clothes dirty. I got under the car and locate where the steering rack is clamped on. All the forums said to start with the passenger side, that it's the easiest side to do, so I get to wrenching. I don't know why I thought my 1/2" wrench would be enough to loosen the salty, rust riddled bolts but they didn't budge no matter how hard I pushed or pulled. I couldn't find any penetrating oil, although I could swear I left some around somewhere, but I was able to find a foot and a half long steel tube.
I climbed under the car and just behind the front crossmember, which is what the engine sits on and the steering rack and the rest of the suspension are bolted to, and I cautiously start wrenching away at the first bolt. The loud cracks of the bonds of rust breaking echo throughout the
workshop and pretty soon, the bolt starts coming loose. Perfect! I'll be done in no time. Those fools on the forums; this is easier than Laurie! I start to work on the second bolt and but this time it makes more of a creaking than cracking sound. The more I wrench, the more resistance I feel. Suddenly, out of nowhere, there is no resistance.
Results
Fuck, I just sheared the bolt.
This is not the first time that this has happened to me. I broke one of the studs that holds the exhaust to the turbocharger. Fortunately, in that case, I still had some stud left to ensure the exhaust is held on. This time, the rest of the bolt was stuck inside the front crossmember with only one option for removal. I have to drill a hole in that fucker and try to extract it.
I didn't have time or the extractor to pull the end piece of the bolt, so I was forced to install only one of the bushings and clamp it on with only one screw. I was afraid to do the other end in case I sheared a second bolt. Strangely enough, there was almost no play in the rack on the passenger's side. This was satisfactory. I still needed to get the other bushing on but that's a story for another day.
The amount of time that had elapsed escapes me, but I needed to go pick up my girlfriend from the museum. She and her friend had finished their photo scavenger hunt and had their fill of some of the best burgers and shakes in Manhattan. I was dirtier and more greasy than South Jersey and I somehow smelled like motor oil.
Solution
Nonetheless I updated my Facebook status and my friend Tony provided me with the best suggestion I've heard in some time:
Start a blog. Tony, you motherfucking genius. So I did and that's why you're here.